why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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