glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You ruined the universe
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
