Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
