Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
