the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
