She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
