He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
These tits shall not be calmed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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