Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
