I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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