I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize