Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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