oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
