If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
