forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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