Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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