he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
