birth control should be required to get into college
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
