is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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