This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
