i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
