I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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