If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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