just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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