That's intense
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
