I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize