put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
