with your own penis?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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