So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I just put wine in my tea
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
