evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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