don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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