apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
