If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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