A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
