Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
