k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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