I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
