I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Come on in and take your pants off
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