Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
