we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
