so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pooping to opera.
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