Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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