This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
