So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
