just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
