Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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