i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
