Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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