i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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