Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
