ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Panties = found
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