He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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