This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
