Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All the doctor said was why
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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