There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
