is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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