You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
