we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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