I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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