he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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