i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
