Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
