How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
